I am a sucker for a holiday movie. It can be a Santa movie or a holiday romance, and I will watch. I don’t know if there are Christmas slasher movies, but I probably wouldn’t watch those. Any other holiday movie though, and I’m in.  My favorites are the old movies – Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life.

But I have to admit – I really don’t like A Christmas Story.  Oh sure, it’s got great moments.  But I just feel SO bad for Ralphie the whole time.  I guess I’m not a fan of pain and embarrassment as humor.  I’m not sure which moment is the worst to me.  Possibly the whole decoder pin thing – only because I can only imagine how awful that would be to a kid.  Waiting and waiting and waiting and then realizing that you’ve been completely ripped off.

I do like the leg lamp though.

Christmas, 2004. Right around this time five years ago, I was just finishing up my first semester of law school. I don’t have any wild recollections about this time, probably because my brain was so numbed by things like Criminal Law and Contracts that I wasn’t able to focus on anything else. I do shudder when I think of Civil Procedure though, so we’ll blame that course for most of the pain.

2004 was my first grown-up Christmas. It was the first year that I was living in my own place with my own Christmas tree. Every year previous, I was either living at home, or at least home from college for the holidays. It was the first time I really got to decorate, though if I’m remembering correctly, my mom did most of the tree decorating herself. She’s pretty much a pro at it, seeing as I believe she has nine trees in her house this year. What’s one more tree to decorate?

I think 2004 was also the first time that Christmas really snuck up on me. In grade school and high school, everyone spent time working on holiday concert music and planning gifts and parties. In college, the dorms had informal decorating competitions and everyone counted down the days until they could go home for winter break. But in law school, while we still had winter break, we all dreaded it, because to get to winter break, we had to get through finals. Sure, we had finals in college (and high school), but this was the first time that our final grade was our entire grade for the semester. Plus it was just scary. The saying about law school is that the first year, they scare you to death, the second year, they work you to death, and the third year, they bore you to death. I think we were all sufficiently scared in December of 2004.

The other big difference, I think, was that winter break didn’t have the meaning that it used to. I was living 45 minutes from my parents. I saw my family all the time. I wasn’t going anywhere for winter break. I was staying in my apartment and just spending a few days at my parents’ house for Christmas. Sure, the previous year I had lived at home, but that in itself was a bit of a novelty. It was going to be nice to have a few weeks off, but at the same time, I had work that I needed to be doing over that break, so it wasn’t quite the same. In college, there was never a project that needed to be worked on over the semester break since all classes changed.

2004 was the year that Cadu discovered just how much he loves the Christmas tree. He still sleeps under it every year and as soon as I begin putting it up, he crawls underneath. He climbs it once a year as well. I figure that’s just part of his holiday traditions. Thankfully, the tree is now on a carpeted surface, so if any ornaments fall, they are much less likely to break.

I think that in 2004, if you had asked me where I would be in five years, living in the Washington, D.C. area and working for the Federal Government wouldn’t have been on my list of answers. I wonder where I’ll be in another five years.

It’s also fun to see all the families all dressed up for the holiday concerts.  This concert is a tradition of sorts for a lot of families and I’m surprised that so many kids manage to sit through the entire thing.  I guess there is a lot to look at around the Cathedral. And of course, being DC, we get a lot of big names at our concerts as well.  Janet Napolitano was there yesterday.  I hope she enjoyed it!  It’s funny to see the Secret Service standing around at our concerts.

(Already falling behind in Holidailies.  Whoops!)

When I read that this morning, my answer was “Still in bed, sleeping.  Or reading a book.”

Then the internet broke.  Then work exploded.  Then I just wanted to be anywhere but in the office.

For the most part, I’m usually pretty content where I am.  Sure, it would be nice to already be on Christmas vacation and at home with the family and the dogs (I really miss having a dog or three).  Or maybe out on a beach somewhere.  Or in Disney World.  I love Disney World.

But today, what sounds good is hanging out on a couch with my cats watching a movie and enjoying my only night off this weekend.  Two Christmas concerts tomorrow and one on Sunday.  It’s going to be a busy weekend.

One of my biggest worries when I think about starting a new job is that because I will be the junior member of the team, I will be required to work during Christmas.  I shouldn’t have to work on Christmas – the government is closed, though some essential operations still go on.  Thankfully, I don’t work anywhere near any of those essential operations.  But it’s entirely plausible that I could have to work on Christmas Eve and then again on the day after Christmas (assuming Christmas doesn’t occur next to a weekend like this year).  Because I don’t have family in the area, that would mean spending Christmas alone.  Oh, I’m sure that I have some friends who would take pity on me and invite me to their family Christmas celebrations, but it’s just not the same.  I can’t imagine spending Christmas alone.  Thankfully in my current job, there are enough people who are locals or who don’t celebrate Christmas so I haven’t had to worry about that for the past few years.

My parents always host a number of people for Christmas dinner, both family members and friends of the family.  It’s nice to have everyone together and it gives others a place to go for the holiday.  We joke that we like when the friends come because it gives us an excuse to not talk to our family, but truthfully, it’s just nice to get to see other people that I might only see on Christmas.

I guess for some people, spending Christmas alone is actually enjoyable.  I have a coworker who spent Thanksgiving alone and was delighted to do so.  Her housemates were all gone and she got to eat in bed while watching tv and just had a wonderful lazy day.  I’m sure there are people who love Christmas for this same reason.  Of course, there are also people who don’t celebrate Christmas, and it must be a quiet day for them as well.  So much shuts down on December 25th.  I know one of the local synagogues has a big event that day, a family day with games and spa treatments and all sorts of things.  That sounds like a lot of fun, and again, no one has to spend Christmas alone if they don’t want to.

Sometimes, I really like being home alone, especially if I don’t have anything to do.  Of course, when I say alone, I mean with my cats.  Sometimes we just need a lazy day to curl up on the couch and watch movies.  But I just don’t want that day to be on Christmas.

The “never dared to send” part makes me think that this newsletter should be R rated or something.  But that sort of negates the “family” part of it, doesn’t it.  Maybe just add a lot of swearing and some mindless violence to get that R rating.

I think I’m in the minority, but I kind of like family holiday newsletters, especially from people that I don’t often get a chance to catch up with.  Facebook has changed things, of course, but it’s fun to see the various accomplishments of a family from the previous year.  Sure, it’s a page of bragging, but that’s okay.  I especially love when people try to interject humor into their newsletters.   Even if it fails, I definitely appreciate the attempt.  So here’s my attempt.

Happy Holidays!  Congrats on making it to the end of 2009, and congrats on receiving this letter!  If you are reading this, that means that Megan actually likes you and cared enough to send you a Christmas card.  Or it might mean that she doesn’t like you and wants the chance to brag and show you just how awesome she is.  But don’t worry, there’s at least a 75% chance you’re in the former category.

So 2009 was a pretty successful year for Megan.  She  made it through her fellowship without getting fired, which she considers a real accomplishment.  She’s still in the same job, and she’s very happy to be employed.  This year, a trapeze school set up shop outside her office windows, creating some great workday distractions.  Sadly, they have closed for the season, and she never got the chance to try out her crazy circus skills.

Megan has continued running this year, and in November, crossed the 500 mile mark.  She ran two ten mile races this year, as well as a 5K, and in March, 2010, she will be tackling her first half marathon.  In Disney World.  She is hoping running 13.1 miles in the Happiest Place on Earth is as much fun as it sounds.  As you read this, she’s probably working on her training schedule.  She found a pretty great running route where she regularly shares the road with bikers, walkers, dogs, horses, and the occasional deer.  She choose to give the deer a wide berth, just in case.  Deer are really big up close.  Pretty, but big.  Kind of scary, really.

The cats are still doing well.  Pippin spent the year on a diet and managed to gain weight, much like many Americans.  He prefers to be heavy so that when he choose to sleep on top of a person, they have to work harder to move him and might just let him stay.  Cadu has yet to climb the Christmas tree this season, but has clearly remembered that he looks beautiful while sleeping under it.

For the most part, life is status quo, and everyone is okay with that. 

For your holiday enjoyment, Megan has designed you a drinking game for the rest of the holiday newsletters you will likely receive this year.  Every time someone brags about their child, drink.  If someone brags more about one child than another, drink.  If someone talks about professional sports, drink.  If someone forgets to mention one of their children, stop drinking and save the bottle for that child.  If someone mentions winning the lottery, stop drinking, sober up, and get yourself over to their house.  Rich people throw sweet parties.

I like food.  A lot.  I can’t say that I’ve had any super fancy feasts though.  But the one that immediately springs to mind involves Turducken.

Yes.  Turducken.  Concentric poultry, as my friends like to call it.

During college, Turducken somehow became a running joke among my group of friends.  I’m not sure why, and I don’t even remember what the joke was at this point.  Either way, we were always referring to Turducken, though none of us had actually eaten it before.  Clearly, that was a problem that needed to be rectified.

I think Mary Beth did the ordering.  I’m not sure of the process, but I know that one day, a styrofoam box appeared in front of her door.  We were fascinated by the idea that you could get meat mailed to you.

Next came the actual feasting.  Of course, we couldn’t just eat Turducken – we also needed a side salad.  Some greens to go with our meat so maybe our arteries wouldn’t totally clog up upon consumption of concentric poultry.  So we bought salad.  And stole salad dressing from the dining hall.  This was again a Mary Beth tactic – she filled ziplocs with salad dressing, stuck them in her coat pockets, and the dining hall monitors were none the wiser.  Unless they read this blog, of course.

Sadly, for me, at least, the Turducken didn’t live up to the hype.  I think maybe I just don’t like duck.  Or maybe I don’t like giant slabs of concentric poultry.  But even so, it was definitely a ridiculous adventure.  And it taught me to never make a joke out of meat.  I might just end up having to eat my words.

Step one was procuring the delicious meat.

At the time, I figured it was because my life was significantly different than it had been.  Instead of spending the weeks leading up to the holidays working on music for holiday concerts and creating cards and gifts in school, my time was spent studying for finals.  While I was looking forward to the holidays (and the accompanying break), I was not so much looking forward to finals, so time could move as slowly as it wanted to.

Law school felt the same, only with more pain leading up to finals.  Plus, after finals, my brain was so warped that I wished Christmas wasn’t coming for a few more weeks so I could fully get into the spirit.

Now, I spend my days at work. There are no final exams to be taken.  I even spend the weeks leading up to the holidays working on music for my holiday concert with the Cathedral Choral Society.  I’m busy, of course, but I can’t say it’s anything like the stress of final exams.

Of course, I still feel like I lost all the months from August on.  Maybe this is what it means to be a grown-up.

Once again this year, I’m doing Holidailies.  That’s right – more posts in the span of one month than you get during the rest of the year.  You have been warned.

So, since I suggested this prompt, you would think that I had a great story to tell.  Well, I do!

One year, we were planning a family Christmas, just our little group.  But family members just kept showing up!  That didn’t keep us from our holiday decorating, of course.  We got this huge tree that actually broke windows because it was so big and we covered the house in an amazing amount of lights.  Things were going well until we burned the turkey, fried the cat, and burned down the tree!  Can you believe it?  So we cut down a tree in the yard and brought it in, but of course, that meant that a few critters came in as well… wait, that’s not right.

Okay, here’s a better story.  One year, we were going on vacation for Christmas.  The packing was crazy!  I couldn’t believe how much stuff we had to take.  And you will never believe what happened!  My parents FORGOT ME!  That’s right, they didn’t even bring me to the airport… No?

We had a great snow one year and I went out with some friends to build a snowman.  We couldn’t figure out what to call him, and then he came to life and hung out with us!

Yeah, clearly, no funny holiday stories here.  Maybe I’ll work on that for this year.  Play a few pranks, give a few ridiculous gifts.

I think I can honestly say that I’ve never committed a major holiday faux pas.  Mostly because the opportunity has never presented itself.

Instead, I will share a story from a friend.  She was young and newly married, and her mother-in-law came to visit for Christmas, bringing all sorts of gifts for her son and new daughter-in-law.

Unfortunately, the mother-in-law’s idea of “nice gifts” was very different from that of my friend.  My friend opened one very intricately wrapped box and pulled out some very risqué lingerie.  It was not really my friend’s style, nor was she convinced it was her size, but the bigger issue was that it was from her mother-in-law.  Who she didn’t know well at all. 

So my friend graciously thanked her mother-in-law and tried to avoid her husband’s horrified looks.  As her mother-in-law began to speak, my friend got a sinking feeling in her stomach.  Her mother-in-law was mentioning how much her sister, her deceased sister, had loved the lingerie.  At first, my friend hoped that perhaps this gift was a newly purchased copy of the deceased sister’s lingerie.

Nope.  Her mother-in-law had given her used lingerie that belonged to a dead woman.

I don’t know about you, but that seems like a holiday faux pas to me.