So.

This is weird, huh.

I realized that I went a full two weeks without having been inside a building other than my house. I’m pretty sure I’ve done that… never. Probably as an infant. Don’t get me wrong, I’d been outside, just not into another building. I did go to the grocery store though, so the streak has been broken. And restarted.

I keep looking at my calendar and all the things I had for planned for this month and the next few months, and it feels so strange to have everything crossed out. I’m not disappointed, really. Sort of numb, I guess, since it’s clearly what had to happen. So far, I’ve had two races cancelled, and I’m definitely expecting more. Not a big deal – they both were great about communication, and one gave every entrant an automatic deferral to 2021 if they wanted it, which is an awesome option (and that’s a race I deferred from last year, so… eventually I’ll get to do it).

I’ve seen a lot of people say “Hey, this is the perfect opportunity to start a new fitness routine!” And if that’s what you want to do, go for it. But only if it’s what makes you happy. Some people are going to emerge from the pandemic looking super ripped, others are going to have packed on some pandemic pounds, and both options are just fine. This isn’t the time to be worried about gaining weight. Sure, I do think you should try to eat a balanced diet, just because it’s good for your immune system. But I also think you can eat your fruits and veggies and still eat half a container of Utz Pub Mix.

Not that we have multiple containers of Utz Pub Mix here. Not at all.

As of right now, we’re on a Stay Home order in Maryland, and today, some recommendations came out to use trails other than the one right by my house, since apparently it’s been packed. I’ve been avoiding it because it’s been so crowded. They finally closed the playgrounds because they were a mob scene. I’m just waiting to see what’s next – and it’s not that I disagree with the concepts of keeping people separated. It’s the frustration that the few privileges we have left get taken away thanks to people who can’t follow the rules.

I really try to always look at the positive side to any situation. Obviously, this is all far from positive – but that doesn’t mean you can’t find and enjoy the bright spots. Personally, I’ve really enjoyed how this has made us reach out to each other. I have had so many Zoom chats with wonderful friends. It makes me wonder why we haven’t tried this before – and it’s something I hope we keep up after we go back to normal, whatever our new normal looks like.

I’m also really enjoying not having to wear real pants. It’s really saving wear on my good clothes. It’s a financial win, right?

I’m lucky enough to be able to work from home with very little change in my role. We’ve had to switch some things to electronic communication, but it’s been a pretty smooth transition all in all. I’m doing my best to keep a normal schedule for work, which means that while I have a bit of extra time during the week, it’s really only my commute time that I get back – and let’s be honest, I’m sleeping through that in the morning. So I’m far from bored so far. There is so much to do around the house and I’m looking forward to finally accomplishing some of the things on my to-do list.

How are you handling the current situation? Stuck at home or still going to work? I hope that everyone is doing their best to stay safe. Flatten the curve!

bridgesward / Pixabay

On social media, there has been a lot of discussion about cities banning plastic straws.  After seeing the video of a straw being pulled out of a turtle’s nose (?), this seemed like a good idea.  After all, do we really need plastic straws?  And places like Disney’s Animal Kingdom and many zoos already use paper straws.  Why don’t we go that route?

Very quickly, I learned how wrong that thinking was.  I was ignoring the needs of those with disabilities.  Many people struggle to drink without straws.  And I know what you’re thinking.  “Well, those people should bring their own straws.”  And I’m sure some do.  But that can be easier said than done.

Right now, stainless steel straws are all the rage.  I have them.  I like them.  But stainless steel straws can cause issues.  They’re hard.  If you don’t have full control of your head or neck, or have issues with your jaw clamping down, you could injure yourself with a stainless steel straw.  I’m not sure I’d give a drink to a kid with a stainless steel straw, that’s for sure.

Okay, so they make silicone straws.  That should solve a lot of the above mentioned problems, right?  Yes.  Except that reusable straws, while easy for me to clean, are not so easy to clean for people with mobility issues.  Getting a little brush to go into the small hole of a straw can be a challenge.  And that also assumes that the person has the energy to clean it at the end of the day.

And I’m sure many people reading this are thinking “Okay, but there are ways around all of this.”  And while that’s technically true, should we be making it even harder for people with disabilities to function in the world?

Paper straws also aren’t perfect.  They do start to disintegrate.  If a person’s jaw tends to clamp down, they can quickly destroy the straw before finishing their beverage.  And have you watched a kid with a paper straw?  Doesn’t always go so well.

A better solution would be for straws to be available upon request, or simply offered instead of automatically given.  Then if someone needs a straw, they can get one, but maybe fewer people will take the straw.

Also, are we over-demonizing straws?  Any plastic waste is bad, but I’m pretty sure there are many other items that are creating even more plastic waste than straw use.

I’ve become fascinated by people who have reduced their trash so much that they can put six months worth of garbage into a mason jar.

I will never be one of those people.

However, I can make smarter choices in what and how I buy.  I can be sure to recycle everything that’s recyclable and compost everything that’s compostable.  I can be better about bringing my reusable bags to the store.  I can use cloth bags for produce instead of plastic.  I can use cloth instead of paper napkins and paper towels.

And I can try to say no when offered a straw at a restaurant.  (Besides, some studies have shown that drinking from straws can lead to early wrinkles around your mouth, and I certainly don’t want that!)

Sexual assault.  Sexual harassment.  It’s all over the news right now, and I’ve been debating whether or not to speak up.  After all, this blog is typically about running and triathlon.  But it’s also about mental health and self-confidence, and those are two things very damaged by the way women are often treated by horrible men in positions of power.

It seems like every day, another famous person is accused of sexual assault, and the one thing all of these men have in common is power.  They all hold some sort of power over these women.  Maybe they are supervising the women, maybe they are high up in the company, maybe they are in a position to make or break the woman’s career.  Whatever the source of the power, they use that power to take advantage of these women.

I keep hearing people (men and women alike) say things like “Well, they didn’t say no or try to get away,” or “They didn’t say anything before, they’re just doing it to get attention.”

First off, when a man who has power over a woman (let’s say he has the ability to get her fired) pressures her into a situation, she is caught between saying no and losing her job.  And yes, when faced with that situation, some women absolutely would be able to say no.  But plenty of others wouldn’t – especially when it’s not just losing your job but also potentially being blacklisted in your industry.  And once it’s over, these women walk away, try to brush it off.  Many of them ultimately find other jobs, some end up leaving the industry all together.

Saying yes out of fear does not equal consent.

And a lot of these women didn’t say yes.  A lot of them were forced, and then threatened if they spoke up.

The thing is, this isn’t unique to the entertainment industry.  It is prevalent in many industries, possibly all of them.  Many, many women have stories of sexual harassment in the workplace.  And many of us brush them off because we are told to be nice.

Here’s one personal example.  I had a coworker who made me very uncomfortable.  His advances were likely innocent, but he liked to come up behind me, touch my hair, put his hands on my shoulders, and stand much too close when we talked.  Sure, these things may sound innocent, but put together, with his words and demeanor, and it made me uncomfortable.  I did my best to ignore him, to ask him to not do what he was doing, but it continued.  Finally, my resolve broke when he showed me a photo of a woman in a revealing red dress and told me that it would look great on me, so I should buy it and he would take me to Vegas.

It was just too weird to leave alone, so I finally went to my boss about it.  But the thing was, I was still trying to be nice.  “I don’t want him to get into trouble,” I said.  I was still relatively new at my job and didn’t want to rock the boat.  “I just want it to stop.”  So my boss at the time talked to his boss, and it stopped.

Of course, I found out he just moved on to do this to someone else.  Maybe if I had worried less about being nice, maybe if I had gotten mad and said “No, this is inappropriate, it is against company policy, and something needs to be done,” then it would have stopped for everyone.

But we’re taught to be nice, to not cause a scene.

At an old job, many years ago, I was at a work outing.  I had consumed a few alcoholic beverages, and was talking and laughing with some coworkers.  One of the higher-ups in the company pulled me over and started hitting on me.  He was married, I wasn’t interested, I tried to pull away.  He then started making some very sexually suggestive comments, while keeping hold of my wrist.  Another woman, also higher up in the company, saw this and helped pull me away from him.

I was embarrassed and upset.  My coworkers knew what had happened, but no one wanted to say anything, so I brushed it off.  At work the next day, the guy called me to apologize, and kept saying “But nothing happened, so it’s not a big deal.”  I was so embarrassed by what had happened, and I was also leaving the job in a few weeks, so I agreed and said it was no big deal.  Essentially, I just wanted it to go away.  And it did.

I’m not sure I ever saw that guy again in the few weeks I had left at that job.  And I can’t say that the incident has weighed heavily on me or caused any lasting harm.  The hurt has gone away and now it’s just a sense of embarrassment.  And I shouldn’t feel embarrassed for being a victim.  But that’s not the point.  The point is that it shouldn’t have happened.  I do feel some guilt for not standing up and making it a bigger deal.  Why?  Because it’s likely this wasn’t a one-time thing for him.  It’s likely that he did this to other young women.  And maybe it was worse for some of them than it was for me.

I understand why some women wait to speak up.  When this happened, I was embarrassed.  I was young.  I was on my way out anyway, which I think is really the key to my story.  Who knows what would have happened if I would have had to continue working with this guy.  I just wanted it to go away.  But if suddenly I heard that other women were saying “Hey, this guy did these things to me,” maybe I would add my voice to the choir.  I don’t know.

Neither of these two incidents are as heinous as some of the many stories coming out in the press.  But I share them to show just how pervasive sexual harassment is for women.  These are not the only two incidents that have happened to me.  I have worked with men who believed it was fine to place their hands on my shoulders, thumbs rubbing bare skin due to a wide neckline.  I have had my ass grabbed more times than I can count.  I have given and received advice from others of people to avoid.  At one point, there was someone who I not-so-jokingly referred to as “The Inappropriate Toucher” and did my best to stay more than an arms-length away.

Thankfully, the men who have done these things are a very small percentage of the men I have encountered over the years.  I am lucky to have so many wonderful men in my life, men who have never once made me feel uncomfortable around them.  I have watched some of them stand up against harassment, which is amazing.  I work in a male dominated industry, and 99.9% of the time, my interactions are professional and friendly.  I spend my summers training and racing in relatively revealing clothing (let’s be honest – tri kits don’t hide much), and have never once felt uncomfortable due to the actions of another person.  (And yes, this includes during gross, sweaty victory hugs after a race, because the intent there is very different.)

(I do want to add that men can also be the victims of sexual harassment and women can be the perpetrators.  I don’t have any personal experience, so don’t feel comfortable writing about it, but it does happen, and we need to be aware of it, support the men who are dealing with this, and speak up against the women perpetrating it.)

As these stories have come out, I have noticed that a lot of men are surprised and a lot of women are not.  And that’s because we don’t speak out.  These men can’t imagine doing something like this to another person, so it seems shocking.  And women often don’t say anything, so how are they supposed to know?  So if you want to, if you feel comfortable doing so, tell your stories.  And if you find yourself in a situation to speak up when someone is behaving inappropriately, absolutely speak up if you can do so safely.

I don’t think this behavior is going to go away quickly, or anytime soon.  But it’s time to be honest about it, to get it out there, and to realize that we all have the right to feel safe.