Recommitting… Again

After a week of gluttony last week (okay, so it wasn’t that bad), I have realized that I need to recommit to being healthy.  I am going on a cruise next September and I would like to be comfortable in a bathing suit.  I don’t plan to be rocking a bikini, but I would like to be confident in my body.  I have discovered that I feel best about myself when I have been eating properly and working out and know that my body is strong.  I want to be able to rock the toned arms and toned legs and slightly less flabby belly.

As I’ve discussed before, I’ve gained about 25 pounds since moving to DC five years ago.  There are multiple reasons for this:

1. I was in the best shape of my life when I moved here.  Exercise was my break from studying for the bar exam. I was also so paranoid that I would get fat while studying that I only ate healthy snacks.
2. I’m on an anti-anxiety medication that can cause weight gain.  It sucks, but I’d rather be fat and functioning than crippled by panic attacks.  Sure, I’d love to get off of it, but so far, that hasn’t been working so well.
3. I’m five years older.

Admittedly, some of the weight is probably muscle, as I’m running much more than I was, but that doesn’t explain why none of my clothes from five years ago fit and why I’m getting close to not fitting into the bigger sizes that I bought after gaining weight.

So I need to recommit to being healthy.  While I would ideally like to lose those 25 pounds, I’m trying to not focus so much on the number.  I need to lose the belly fat.  It’s unhealthy.  Period.

My biggest problem?  Snacking.  I eat relatively healthy meals, but I have a tendency to put junk into my mouth as a snack. I always tell myself that the little bits and bites don’t count.  But they do count.  They count a whole lot.

I’m not following any particular diet plan.  I’m still trying to follow Bob Harper’s rules and get a lot of protein, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to low carb.  I’m counting calories using My Fitness Pal.  I also am trying to eat more “real” foods.  It’s not an all-in thing, because while I would love to remove all processed food from my diet, it’s just not going to happen.  But I am trying to be better about it.  To that end, I have subscribed to the Healthy Surprise box after seeing some reviews on blogs I read.  I got my first box just before the hurricane and was delighted at all the different snacks.  They’re not necessarily low cal, but they are natural, which is important to me.  I need to not eat the artificially low-cal snacks and try to stick to healthy foods, even if they are higher in calories.

Of course, I’m also marathon training, and everyone seems to gain weight during marathon training.  I’m just going to try to force myself to eat well.   Lots of protein and veggies to refuel, not junk.  Doesn’t mean I’m not going to go out for pancakes here and there, but it just can’t be a regular thing.

So we’ll see how this goes.  I’m getting on the scale on Tuesday to give myself a start number (I was too afraid after getting back from vacation).  And we’ll see what happens.